Reconsideration of “the state of despair” may reveal significant benefits.
At a time of desperation, there are feelings that life is being lived yet is not being adequately understood. Despair in this sense is a feeling of dissatisfaction, and of not having a plan as to what to do next. This description was not clearly apparent at the time of despair, and may seem a little convoluted to read now. The time of desperation was not a time of clarity and thinking, more a time of emotional upheaval and of emptiness. A sense of clarity has come with both the passage of time and a stepping back to reflect on the situation, and so might the reader’s clarity come with time and with a stepping back. If a threat or other imminent situation, on the other hand, calls for a response, a desperate action, it might indeed be a time for pure reaction. If pure reaction comes from a subconscious impulse triggered by an intuitive connection, that could and would be a good thing. One might otherwise recognize that to “de spar” (sparing, referring to the practicing of predetermined responses,) might, as well, be interpreted as refraining from a predetermined default responses. This refrain may be useful, especially if there is a surrendering to openness to possibility followed by an attending to listening. This would be a time of acting while engaged in a very low level of thinking and of planning, of sparing. A state of “de spar,” of despair, might then be welcomed as both of significant and important.
Surrendering to openness of possibility dissolves that which appears as impossible or hopeless. It appears to me that if the systematic way of fighting was a learned technique as in this case, to allow an ease of opening to intuitive expression, that would then provide, or present despair in a positive connotation.
Desperation may serve as a doorway, a portal, to another way of being, both useful and worthy of exploration. This is not to suggest despair is to be utilized as a “go to” default, or chosen destination to aim for as a means to bring resolution to situations. It would be more useful to exercise intuitive listening to connect with appropriate intuitive expression prior to reaching a state of despair. Desperate times may produce desperate measures, yet, if time permits, not necessarily unhealthy or dangerous measures.
So it is that my personal journey, a sculpting journey, has evolved out of such a time of feeling desperate.
The not knowing what to do served as enough of an opening for intuitive expression to issue forth as expression: “explore the intuitive.” I was desperate enough and fortunately open enough to comply.
In retrospect, to this journeyer, the journey has been wonderfully rewarding, remarkably rewarding. I do feel fortunate.