Another note in regard to this journeying beyond reason.
Perceiving that much of adult life has focused on utilizing the intellect, attempting to be clever and just plain exerting oneself for sustenance and achieving goals, there is a feeling that something is missing. There is a feeling that the present approach is not fulfilling.
Awareness stirs. Something is not being satisfied. An awareness stirs that an intuitive approach might be a complement to a clever intellectual process. The tangible, the verifiable (by scientific method) nature of intellect-driven action is culturally recognized as a solid, justifiable approach to daily life. There is culturally implied insecurity in regard to leanings toward any unverified “cosmic” listening. We are speaking here of a possibly mystical, non-verifiable approach. The practical mind quickly agrees and intuitive aspects of self are relegated to a status bordering on the insignificant.
With this view appearing as the cultural norm, I step tentatively, without fanfare, yet with commitment to explore the nebulous realm of what might be the intuitive.
In retrospect, I begin to envision a beautiful transition.
While engaging as a participant in the process, my approach feels random, lacking tangibility, lacking verifiability, even as to whether an intuitive path is being followed. While engaged, I have a perception that this is an excursion into dangerous territory, that to stray too deep, too far from the intellect, can mean being engulfed, drowned or lost in a self-made mental trap of delusion. Ironically, a sense of danger has surfaced regarding life as it had been lived, engulfed in the world of reason, a world of a practical, sensible mind, a world of that long-held culturally predominant view that clever thinking, practicality, more knowledge, and organized and prescribed technique are the appropriate tools for successful living. Doubt has begun to creep into my being. I begin to question that I may already be in a self-made, societally perpetuated trap of rigid belief, of rigid thinking. Is an intuitive spark sufficient light that I am able to recognize that something is missing in my life?
I ponder the meaning of “sensibility.” Could it possibly refer to an ability to rely on the senses? Interesting. I had come to think of sensible as being only practical or reasonable. I interpret the intuitive as lying beyond form, yet having a place within the senses. This “having sense ability” encompasses much more than the practical or the sensible.
The intuitive: how would I describe the intuitive? An elusive specter for sure! Ironically, it is the practical mind that seems to demand definition. The reasoning mind precludes acceptance of the intuitive through mere lack of tangibility, yet this lack of tangibility is a prime defining characteristic of the intuitive. Admittedly the cautionary approach of accepting only that which is reasonable has served us well, has kept us safe. Initially I am appreciative to be in the safe environment of reason. Then there is a stirring from within, from a place other than reasoning mind, a feeling of discontent. There is an internal nagging for something to be done to alleviate this feeling.
What might there be other than a reasoned, reasonable approach? At first glance one might conclude that the alternative would be an unreasonable approach, and that is where the intuitive is quickly placed. Intuitive listening as unreasonable, is illogical! Within that logic, practical mind would concur that we are indeed seeing no further than the horizon of the practical.
Yes, reason is a primary default, at least initially. Then, from within, from a place other than direct mind comes a feeling of unease. I take to pondering…how similar are the words “practical” and “practice.” I find myself wondering if to be practical in life might relate to practicing in life? Is the practical an initiation into life, only a beginning? My mind continues to wander, wonder…wander, into it, intuit. I stop to marvel us. Too marvelous! I chuckle at the word…game? As I write, the ever-reasoning mind intercedes. “We are moving away from the tangible.” A gap has opened as a mental movement is made toward the intangible. Reason prevails. The writing must indicate that the writer is at the least, somewhat sensible or there will be an abandoning of this narrative as complete drivel, as a foolhardy waste of time.
So with that in mind I have begun a search to subdue the hunger, the inner hunger, a search for some form of sustenance from within, with myself becoming the Initiate.